Birdie's New Mexico Time Machine

The Great Avocado Mishap...

I read a forum post about the power of the avocado seed. It seems that some adventurous folks grind their avocado seeds into fiber-rich smoothies accented with various greens and fruits. Avocado seeds are healing, they promised. Healing! You will poop like never before! Your skin will glow more than the folks living near the Trinity Test Site! Your love life will improve, too, hubba hubba, with potential sexual partners flinging themselves at your feet! I think it was that last bit that got me. I've had a dry run lately, no sexy men who think I'm kinda cute knocking down my door in this dusty rural town with a bouquets of fresh kale. So a green smoothie sounded good, a green smoothie with spinach, kale, grapefruit, banana, flax seed, and one perfect avocado....

I fired up my Osterizer - a sturdy black 'n silver beast - and filled it to the top with my selected ingredients. I added a dollop of raw coconut oil and a cup of water for good measure and hit Puree. The avocado seed wanted nothing to do with my smoothie and decided to make a run for it! It slammed against the walls of the glass container with fractal imprecision, the noise seemingly getting louder and louder with each rotation of the blade. The rest of the food smooshed to perfection, bits and pieces of kale rising to the surface, falling like tsunami debris into a waterspout. I stopped the blender and peeked inside. The avocado seed rested on the surface. It looked scarred, thousands of criss-crossing blender blade tattoos covering its surface. Hmmm, not enough power, I thought. I hit Liquefy.

Big mistake.

The seed groaned in anger, smashing against the glass walls with determination. It must have hit a sweet spot.

CRASH!

I raised my hands in fear as the glass shattered in a million tiny shards. The seed smacked me - dead center forehead - and one heft chunk of glass lodged in my right middle finger. I'm writing this with my left hand, pecking one key at a time. My right (write?) hand sits on my lap, middle finger wrapped in six layers of protective gauze, twenty or so bandaids stuck up and down my arms, my forehead bruised like a sad banana.

Damn that avocado!

So. Ya think the men are gonna start swarming my door?

Perogies! Recipe!

Gramma's 'Tater and Cheese Perogies

2 cups flour
4 tablespoons oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup warm water (a little more, a little less)
5 potatoes
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup sauteed onion

Mix flour, oil, salt, and warm water with a fork to make a soft ball. Knead with your fingers to incorporate all the flour. Cover with plastic wrap or a lightly wet kitchen towel in a bowl and place in fridge to rest for about an hour. You can let them rest overnight, if you like, but I wouldn't let the dough rest longer than 12 hours.

Roll the dough out until it is roughly 1/8 of an inch thick, and cut in circles with cookie or biscuit cutter or - as most old-world grandmothers like mine did - with the open end of a drinking glass.

Boil the potatoes until soft, drain. Mash with the cheddar cheese and butter. Add the sauteed onions. I like to add sauteed mushrooms, too. Put about 1 and 2 teaspoons in rolled out dough and pinch edges well.

Boil a big pan of water. After it has reached a full rolling boil, add five perogies at a time, turn the heat down a little, and boil for 2 minutes. Perogies will float when they are ready! Remove with a slotted spoon, and place in a casserole dish with a little melted butter to keep them from sticking.

Serve as is, with sour cream or beet relish, or with a mushroom sauce. Yummy!